…on wisdom and growing

As I enter my 81st year (YIKES!), I am often asked what wisdom I can impart after such a long life – important things I’ve learned; some easy, others not so much; some by my own doing and others by simply observing mistakes and consequences of those who have gone before.

Initially, my response is, “I got nuthin’.” But the truth is, we never stop learning, never reach a point where we check off that last item. As long as we have breath, there is something more to learn, something to make us better, stronger, kinder Jesus-loving people; and I don’t want to miss any of them.

So I ask you…where shall I begin? Lessons on life, God, love? Work, finances, family? How about friendship, judging, grief? Or disease, fear, death? Betrayal, patience, charity? The list is endless and I could have something to say on all of them.

But as I have prayed and pondered, wallowed and wondered, I’ve realized that my ‘wisdom’ – or more aptly my musings – can be summed up in three short truths:

Love God and live that out in all your comings and goings, doings and beings. Make sure that your walk and your talk coincide.

Be kind. It costs nothing and avails so much. There was a song in the 70s titled You’re the Only Jesus Some Will Ever See. The first verse was very convicting. You’re the only Jesus some will ever see. You’re the only words of live some will ever read. So let them see in you the One in who is all they’ll ever need, ’cause you’re the only Jesus some will ever see.

Take the high road and let the fragile egos do as they must.

In short, this life is far too brief and precious; and there are no do-overs. Make sure yours counts for good.

Peaceful Pondering…

Ponder/intransitive verb: to think or consider especially quietly, soberly and deeply

I’ve been doing a lot of that lately – pondering, reflecting, evaluating, Maybe because I’m approaching my 80th birthday and feel that the better part of my life is behind me. But is it really the better part? Or is now the better part? Or are they just different parts? Clearly there new things, a new season, new tasks, new people. new opportunities and God is the One directing and pointing the way. And if there is any good in me and my service, it is only because of Him.

However, while I am thoroughly enjoying these current days, the most important and rewarding Kingdom work has been the raising my four daughters. They have given me more joy that I could ever desire or deserve. As Mothers Day approaches, I thought about writing a blog post honoring them, then remembered I had already done that in 2016. I can’t improve on those words, so am just going to paste it here. Except for the year, nothing is different.

A new twist on Mothers Day…

There’s a story here; there’s always, always a story.

People-watching has always been one of my favorite pastimes, especially in places like the airport or a mall; it’s proof that God has a sense of humor. But just watching them has never been enough. I look at their body language and facial expressions and conjure up a story of where they’re going or who they’re meeting – what’s happening in their lives. Stories from an average sitting might look something like this:

Oh, my! Look at the smile on that little guy! The box he’s holding is nearly as big as he is and his toothless grin shouts “Finally! I’ve been waiting for this forever!” If he smiles any wider, I think his cheeks might break!

Ahhh, clearly a successful businessman in his well-fitting Armani, trim and professional from his oh-so-perfect hair to the gold cufflinks to the tip of his recently shined shoes. With his long trenchcoat draped over his arm, his long stride says ‘outta my way.’ Brows furrowed and jaws clenched, he’s clearly on a mission as he spans the crowd. This isn’t the face of someone whose luggage was lost, but rather one who is afraid he may have just missed the opportunity of a lifetime.

Enter the gorgeous redhead who is undoubtedly a supermodel – likely on her way to New York – or Paris! Every head turns as she flashes her 1000-watt Julie Roberts smile.  It’s not fair that one person should have so many glistening white teeth and such deep, broad dimples.

In every crowd there’s a college student; this one is talking to himself as he forges through the crowds. He’s meeting his girlfriend’s family for the first time and he’s memorizing the names. Uncle Ray is the policeman; Chad is the coroner. No wait! Chad is the policeman. Crazy Aunt Liz is the one with the purple hair.

Finally, there’s the grandma sitting just a few feet from me. She appears to be doing the same thing I am…watching the world go by, a half smile and twinkling eyes, her hands folded softly on her faux leather handbag.

And then 2020 happened. Covid-19 changed the world and how we walk in it, namely with masks or face coverings when we’re in public. At first everyone scrambled to get the approved white N95 ones, then settled for the next level of blue lighter weight ones.  And we all looked the same. If we wore sunglasses, there was no way to identify even our closest friends.

Then we got creative with different fabrics and designs, touting super heroes or photos of pets. But we still all looked the same.  And people-watching wasn’t as fun anymore. If there were to be any more stories, I had to look at the strangers differently…and what a revelation! There is an old adage, attributed to Shakespeare, Thomas Phaer and dozens of others, that ‘the eyes are the window to the soul.’  Regardless of the source, it bears a bold, underlined all-caps truth.

As I begin searching the eyes above the mask, I see a deeply grieving and hurting world. 

I see a woman sitting alone, a blank stare in her lovely brown eyes. Did she just receive word that the tests came back positive? Or maybe that her husband is leaving? Or maybe she just buried her daughter or her parents?

I see a young girl wringing her hands, nervously peering over her mask , sheer terror in her eyes, color gone from her face. She looks like a trapped animal. Is she afraid of her boyfriend? The police? Her pimp? Immigration officers?

I see the pony-tailed young mom, kiddos tugging at each elbow, but she isn’t looking at them. She’s focused on the items in her grocery cart, then closes her eyes as if ringing up the total in her head. Has she or her husband just lost their job? Or is she maybe a single mom? Is she feeling hopeless?

Oh, weary and wounded soul, I want to say, I see you. I see your pain and your worry, your fear and your sadness. I see your sense of hopelessness, your emptiness and your hurt.

More importantly, God sees you and is feeling all of those things with you. Did you know that? Did you know that He sees every tear and wants to comfort you with promises from His Word? Most of all, He wants you to know this: “My child, you are loved. You are heard. You are not alone.

May I encourage you to reach out to Him? He has promised never to leave us nor forsake us and His promises are true. Promises such as:

The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. Psalm 34:18

I sought the Lord and he answered me and delivered me from all my fears. Psalm 34:4.

He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds. Psalm 147:3.

Call to me and I will answer you. Jeremiah 33:3.

I will turn their mourning into joy; I will comfort them and give them gladness for sorrow. Jeremiah 31:13

Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed for I am your God. I will strengthen you, I will help you. I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. Isaiah 41:10.

Finally, my fellow sojourners, in these most trying of times, may we be kind in our dealings with others. Kindness costs nothing but conveys so very much. Also, may we be less judgmental.  Theologian Oswald Chambers once wrote ‘Remember, when it comes to judging another, there is always one more fact about which you know nothing.’ 

Oh, Father help us to be a people of compassionate hearts, open minds, discerning ears and gentle words. Help us to say the right thing rightly and to be about the business of sharing You with a broken world. Amen

‘Tis the season….

It’s Spring…a much anticipated season, especially here in Minnesota where our senses are dulled for too many long months. Sun-starved describes it best. Not enough natural vitamin D. We long to have the windows open, hear the happy exchange of the birds who decided to come back after all, and….for those of us who are lovers of the soil…pull out our long-awaited packets of seedlings. Yes! New life! Reminder of eternal hope!

No one feels this more than the farmer. The minute weather permits, he is in the field plowing up the soil, digging down deep and turning it over so it faces the sun. Brown hard dirt becomes rich, thick, moist, black soil. He knows that without tilling the soil, it will not (in fact cannot) bear a crop. It must be turned up before it is ready to receive the seeds, the sun, the rain, and…yes, even the lightening that replaces the nitrogen. It must be able to breathe. Without the farmer, the soil is nothing but…soil.

Much like the farmer with the land, the shepherd David plowed up his own heart and soul over and over. He knew it was the only way to receive God’s forgiveness, His blessing and His life instructions. He knew a sinful heart cannot see God. He expresses his heart’s agony throughout the Psalms…groaning, begging for God to hear him, to save him from the depths of depression and fear of his enemies or to relieve him of his grief. He alternately pleads for forgiveness and praises God for who he is and what he knows his Father can do.

There is neither room here nor battery life in my laptop to list them all, but I have selected  a few. Can you not feel his despair? His begging for relief? His outcry to the only One who can save him from himself? He wasn’t just mildly depressed or having a bad day. He was a powerful and much-beloved king, but that couldn’t offer him any peace. It couldn’t restore the closeness he had known with God. He was, after all, ‘a man after God’s own heart.’ His soul was desperate as he called out to the only One who could help him; he clung to the truth that Jehovah would answer. David went straight to the Source with no shortcuts, knowing he would be heard. “The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise.” (51:17)

First, he recognized his plight and admitted his helplessness.

I am feeble and crushed and I groan because of the tumult of my heart….38:8
Be gracious to me, O Lord, for I am in distress; my eye is wasted from grief; my body and soul also…31:9
My heart is in anguish within me. Fear and trembling come upon me and horror overwhelms me….55:4
I am weary with my moaning; every night I flood my bed with tears…6:6

Secondly, he boldly asked / told God what he needed.

Lead me in your truth and teach me …25:4
Answer me when I call…be gracious to me and hear my prayer …4:1
Save me, O God! …3:7
Give ear to my words, O Lord; consider my groaning…5:1

Then he waited.

For God alone, my soul waits in silence. 62:1
I wait for you, O Lord; you will answer me, O Lord my God!…38:15
I wait for the Lord; my soul waits and in his word I put my hope…130:5
Our soul waits for the Lord; he is our help and our shield…33:20

Finally, he offered up a grateful heart to praise and worship God.

I will give thanks to the Lord with my whole heart…9:1
I will be glad, I will sing praise to your name…91:2
I have set the lord always before me…16:5
I delight to do your will…40:8
I have chosen the way of faithfulness ; I set your rules before me…I will run in the way of your commandments when you enlarge my heart! …119:30 & 32

It can all be summed up this way. “On the day I called, you answered me; my strength of soul you increased.” 138:3

Time to stop writing. There is a heart waiting to be plowed up…

Copyright 2015

Remembering Silas

I have always loved dogs, especially German Shepherds. I was enthralled by the old TV series, The Adventures of Rin Tin Tin. At the end of each segment, my words were the same. “Some day…some day, I will have my own shepherd.” And I did, many of them over the years. It was a family thing. When four daughters had homes of their own, they owned shepherds as well.

I could write an entire book about their antics, their personalities and protection, their loyalty and unconditional love. This post is about one of my favorites, Silas.

We were good friends, he and I. He was a great foot warmer and companion. He was tail-wagging happy when I arrived for a visit and head-low sad when I left. He knew about suitcases and what they meant.

There will be no more foot-warming, no more sleeping outside my door, no more waiting patiently for the last bite of toast. Si has gone on to doggy heaven and we miss him terribly. He left a gaping hole in our hearts and lives.

I shared this little story years ago; I post it again in hopes that it will bring happy memories of our friend, who was, as his  doggy Mommy always said, “such a person”. Rest in peace, dear friend….

                                                      

Meet Silas – my grandpuppy who lives in Sleepy Eye, MN. I say grandpuppy, but in essence he is the size of a small horse. Silas is – I am convinced – a dog of multiple personalities. I suspect that there is also a hidden comic within.  If only he could talk….he can’t, but the expressions and body language do it for him.  For instance, when one of the lady people of the house instructs him to lie down, he looks and blinks and (so help me) smiles at them as if to say, “You are not the boss of me.” The command gets more firm and still he smiles. However, when one of the male population snaps their fingers and points to the floor, he does obey, although slowly and with a combination growl/yawn in protest. The caption should read, “I might be lying down, but on the inside I’m standing up.” … For the people he loves, his welcome is exuberant, big happiness and a giant paw in your lap. “You came! You came! Come in and I will let you scratch my ears and pat my tummy and will wait patiently for the last bite of your cookie or toast or pizza.“…For those he sees as a threat (like the mailman), it’s “I see you walking toward the door …yep, closer, closer….just a few more steps to the mail slot.” Then, in a bark that could cause a cardiac arrest, “What are you thinkin’ putting your hand on my door ?!?”…There are always babies around and while Silas may stretch out to a full 6-feet and appear to be unaware of toys and toddlers, let a non-family member walk in the room and the ears go up, the eyes are fixed on the intruder and he says, ever so quietly, “Don’t …even… think of getting between me and those babies.” To my knowledge, no one has tried….And my favorite ….daily walks – big strong master with big strong dog who ‘owns’ the neighborhood (and, he thinks, the town). Frequently folks cross the street just to avoid him. Periodically, there’s a brave soul walking their dog and they stay on the same sidewalk.  Little dog doesn’t know he’s little and begins to declare war on the approaching enemy. Si shoots him a glance that says, “You there, little lunch-sized dog…bad idea.”…Note to potential burglar, thief, intruder …..you might want to rethink that.

 

Never satisfied…always wanting more

I love my Christmas books. In putting away all the Christmas decorations (I confess that sometimes it doesn’t happen till the end of January and one year even pushed toward Valentines Day), I make sure they are the last to go into the chest of Christmas treasures. That way they are the first things to come out the following year. There are stories for children with great illustrations (always a deciding factor when purchasing), books for ladies’ tea parties , and, of course, the classics like A Christmas Carol, The Innkeeper and Two From Galilee.

But my forever favorites are two Advent books. They are getting a little shabby, underlined, highlighted and dotted with coffee spots. That makes them all the more special, sort of like the Velveteen Rabbit becoming “real” because he was so dearly and deeply loved.

The first is “Come, Thou Long Expected Jesus,” a compilation of several well known authors through the ages, edited and compiled by Nancy Guthrie. The second is “The Dawning of Indestructible Joy” by John Piper.

Each day’s reading finds me wanting more than just the few pages designated for that date. I used to skip ahead and read through the entire thing because it all was so rich and beautiful. The more I read, the more I wanted. This year I have disciplined myself (mostly) to be content with the specified day’s gem…to reflect on it, to let it penetrate my soul, to reread as many times as my spirit needs. Even then, it still leaves me wanting more; more beautifully written devotions, more words that sink deep into my heart. I guess what I am really wanting is more of Jesus, experiencing the fullness of the blessing of Christ that Paul describes in Romans 3:14-19.

The introduction of Piper’s book says it best. It is truly my heart’s desire, not just for myself but for all those I love. What more could I ask than that:

“You may be FILLED with the fullness of God…you may have POWER to comprehend it all…that you would EXPERIENCE the fullness of Christ…that you would KNOW the outpouring of grace upon grace (my favorite)…that the glory of the only Son would SHINE INTO YOUR HEART…and that you would be AMAZED that Christ can be so real to you.”

Until your return, Lord, Jesus, yes, yes, yes! May it ever be.

The Bible Simply Isn’t Relevant Today

“None of it applies to life today. It’s just a bunch of stories to make people feel guilty and fit into some religious mold or something. Who needs all  those rules and the narrow-minded thinking? It’s so judgmental!

Life is really a struggle for some of us.  It’s full of challenges,  choices and confusion. We are looking for encouragement, not criticism; acceptance, not judgment. We are desperately seeking answers but  finding only empty words that have no substance., certainly no help or guidance.

So tell me, Christian, how can you say the Bible is a guidebook…and…all we need to do is just look because the answers are all there? If you think the answers are all there, then you are asking different questions.”

Oh, dear skeptic, I can only reply with “OUCH!” and ask your forgiveness for not making God’s Word real to you, for not sharing and showing what I know to be truth, that it does indeed tell us how to live, how to act, how to love, how to speak. Of course there aren’t specific answers to questions like …”Shall I take this job?”…or…”Which school should I attend?”…or…”Where did I leave my keys?” How much easier life might be if there were, right?

But the concepts of life and patience and honesty and integrity couldn’t be more clear. For instance, (and this is only one example) in one of the earliest New Testament writings – the book of James – the “life rules” are concise and all inclusive. They are exactly the same for you as they are for me. In a quick read of five short chapters, we find:

• Count it joy when you meet trials (note that it says when, not if.  You are not singled out in this)
• Ask God for wisdom (I must do this daily in all things, big or small)
• Be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger (Yeah…I’m steadily working on this one)
• Put away filthiness and wickedness (they have no place in the life of a believer)
• Be doers of the Word and not hearers only (too often I have dropped the ball here)
• Bridle the tongue (oh, dear…)
• Show no partiality (treat the poor the same as the rich, the unlovely the same as the beautiful)
• Humble yourself before the Lord (I cannot stand before a holy God with a haughty attitude)
• Submit yourselves to God, resist the devil, draw near to God (I cannot resist the devil unless I first submit to God)
• Purify your hearts (not a physical act, but a mindset by thinking on things that are good and right and true and positive … confessing when we don’t)
• Do not speak evil against one another (remember, Rosi, when one finger is pointing at another person, four are pointing back at yourself)
• Practice patience (others certainly have to practice it with me!)
• Establish your hearts (per Webster..’to establish means to place firmly to last a long time’…I need to establish my heart to lean Godward)
• Do not grumble against one another (serves no purpose and God doesn’t love me any more than he does them)
• If you are sick, pray; if you are blessed, sing praise (recognize Him as the source of your existence and therefore concerned about everything that concerns you)
• Do not boast except in the Lord (any good that I do …or have …or am… is only because of His grace. I have nothing … am nothing… apart from Him)

So, dear disappointed one, I pray that you will reconsider your belief that the Bible is not relevant to your life and your world. I pray, also, with the apostle Paul, that “the eyes of your heart will be enlightened and that you will know the good and perfect will of God,” and with Timothy who confirms that “all scripture is given by God and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness.”

It can be no more relevant than that.

A new twist on Mothers Day…

Mothers Day 2016 is only a few days away. Hallmark will claim record-breaking sales and florists will hire extra delivery staff to make sure that the roses and daisies make their way to the doorsteps of moms old and young, new and seasoned.

I recently sat for hours going through my own Mothers Day cards…or as my youngest used to say, “polishing and tumbling the memory agates,” alternately smiling and weeping. Smiling over the stories and weeping over the ever dear and precious words in cards, notes and letters over five decades. Joybox after joybox. Words of encouragement, words of gratitude, tender words of love and appreciation for being an example in hard times…for pointing them to Jesus…for loving them unconditionally.

I was glad to be sitting alone as I felt undeserving and embarrassed by all the accolades and the praise. We are a family of bibliophiles / wordsmiths, so my ‘treasure’ collection is unique, sincere, powerful and priceless. The words go deep and spread a soothing balm over this mother’s heart.

Who my daughters are and who they have become amazes me. It isn’t because of their parents, but in spite of us; in spite of our sinful selves. That isn’t self-deprecating talk, but merely scriptural truth. Without Christ, we are a wretched people with no hope. With him, we have the luxury of grace, but will always struggle as long as we are this side of heaven, ever learning, always growing, hopefully improving.

I am so proud of who they are…kind, loving, beautiful, extremely generous women who love the Lord and are serving Him along with their families. We are mother and daughters, but more importantly, sisters in Christ, walking each other home on this journey called life.

So on this Mothers Day, I am taking the opportunity to do a marketing reversal …to honor my children…to thank God for them…for answering the prayers of this young mommy…prayers that sounded something like this.

“Oh, God of mine, are you sure you have entrusted these little souls to the right mommy? Allowing an imperfect heart to shepherd and shape their innocent ones? This is the most important thing I will do in this life and there are no do-overs. There will be times when I will fail them, times when I will be unkind or unlovely and, sadly, unChristlike. Take over, I pray. They are yours and only on loan to us. Grow us together until we see you face to face.”

So Melissa, Kristina, Karrie and Emma (who waits for us with Jesus) thank you for you are and who you are helping me to become. You are wonderful mothers, sisters and friends who are leaving your own legacy and I am blessed to be your mom, mommy, Mother Dearest, Mammachka….my cup runneth over. Happy Mothers Day to me!

Fence post theology

Awesome. A little two-syllable word that, to my way of thinking, is overused and misused. We use it so flippantly. The pizza was awesome. The concert was awesome. The date was awesome. The haircut is awesome.

But for me, only God and the things of God are truly awesome. That’s because I have been ‘awe’-struck by Him; thus it takes on new meaning when I sing ‘I stand in awe of you…’ and ‘Our God is an awesome God…’ or read that ‘they were all filled with awe and wonder…’ (Acts 2:42).

Several years ago, I was at a retreat for Christian singles in the mountains outside Pueblo, Colorado. Our devotion time in the morning was to be alone with God. My chosen spot was on a fence post with my back against the barn. I have never felt God’s nearness more than I did that day, heart overflowing and overcome by His gift of nature. It’s as real today as if I were right there on the fence post still wet with dew, sun peeking through giant pines to frame a snow-capped mountain peak. God’s fingerprints were everywhere. The only noise was that of crystal clear water caressing the rocks and the rustling of critters who needed a drink. A beaver on one side, a fawn on the other. The sun glistened on the leaves in shades unmatched by man’s limited color palette.

I sat for what seemed like hours just trying to absorb it all. The beauty was so intense, I could hardly breathe and, for one of the few times in my life, I had no words, just a sense that I might explode any second as God wished me a happy good morning. It was in that moment of sensory overload that I understood the words awe and awesome.

As I sat in stillness surrounded by pristine beauty, I wondered what I could ever give back to God. It wasn’t really a question as much as it was just pondering. In less than three minutes, he answered by giving me the words and tune to a simple little song. Because I didn’t think anyone was around, I sang as the words came to mind rather than writing them down. Because of the echo, I imagined the words and notes floating straight up to him.

I see you in the mountaintops, I see you through the trees.
I hear your voice in the babbling brook, I feel you through the breeze.
I stand in awe of all you give, what can I give to you?
A grateful heart, a willing heart that longs to be like you.

Chorus:
Here am I here am I, your servant I will be.
Here am I, here am I, Lord shine your light through me.
Here am I, here am I, Lord teach me what you will.
I’m willing Lord, so use me, Lord, according to your will.

I feel your presence everywhere, there’s safety in your arms;
Your tender mercies freely shared; in peace there is no harm;
With all the wonders that you give, what can I give to you?
A grateful heart, a willing heart that longs to be like you.

Chorus

Those who know me best have heard me say that I don’t believe in coincidence, but rather in Divine design. Here is but one example.

When the bell rang for chapel, I headed back around the barn, humbled and excited by my time with God. There stood a friend who had been on the other side. As I started to tell her about my visit, she said, “I know. I heard you, but didn’t know it was you.  I was feeling the same thing, but I didn’t know how to express it. Your song was my answer.”

This little grouping of words and notes will never be a #1 hit; nor will they likely even be read by my great-grandchildren. But the blessing of knowing that God met me there on the fence post is far greater than any earthly accolade.

Still reeling from the experience, sitting in silence and waiting for Chapel service to start,  I opened my Bible to the Psalms. How uniquely God that my eyes fell upon this verse. “The Lord is my strength and my shield; in him my heart trusts, and I am helped. My heart exults and (are you ready for this, reader?)...WITH MY SONG I give thanks to him.” Psalm 28:7

Awesome.

He’s still workin’ on me…..

One of my favorite movies ever is Fiddler on The Roof; and a favorite line is when Tevye (the Papa) is addressing his daughter on the futility of marrying outside the faith, having no spiritual common ground. “A bird may love a fish,” he says, “but where would they make their home?”

As a brand-new Christian, a baby in Christ and a foreigner to the Word, I was thrown headlong into a culture that seemed equally challenging. The worlds collided, as they say.

The only time I had read the Bible was for a Confirmation class and even then, only selected passages. And here I was, an Illinois transplant with little, if any, spiritual background following her Minnesota boy to the prairie and people who spoke openly about God and Jesus and scripture and….get this…prayed before a meal…out loud! On my first visit, engaged and nervous about meeting the family (the very large extended family), I clearly remember an auntie asking us all to join hands for prayer and a hymn before we ate. What?? Because all eyes were on the new girlfriend, there was no hiding the rolling of the eyes that said, “These people are so weird. What have I gotten myself into?”

I had grown up in a Methodist church where the only mention of Jesus was at Christmas and Easter. There was no talk of a personal relationship with Him and certainly nothing about being born in sin and needing to be saved from it.

But here I was, hundreds of miles from home and all things familiar. But I was here to stay. I don’t know if maybe God gave the fish wings or the birds gills, but gradually I began not only to understand, but to crave and desire more teaching, more truth, more of this Jesus – what He wanted for me and expected of me.

A precious and segacious mentor led me along in baby steps over the years, answering endless questions and feeding me spiritual gems to memorize and treasure in my heart. Of all the advice she gave and the time she invested in me, one thing stands out above all else. “Ask God for two things: first, a love for His Word and ears to hear when He speaks to you; secondly, for something He wants to change in your life. Then do it. If reading the Word doesn’t change you, then it is nothing more than reading the words.”

Sorting through some of my journals recently, I came across one where I would write down a particular verse and reference, followed by a one- or two-line response. It was like finding an old friend! At the top I had written “God’s promises and instructions for Rosi.” As I skimmed the pages, I was struck anew with the joy of God “speaking” to me through the scriptures and then claiming it through my avenue of truth…my pen.

I share a few of them here as a reminder of His strength in my weakness, His faithfulness in my doubts, His comfort in my pain, His light in my darkness.

“For I know the plans I have for you, plans for good and not for evil; plans for a future and a hope.” – Jeremiah 29:11

RESPONSE: It doesn’t matter that I feel no direction or see a purpose in the way things are happening. I need to trust His plan in growing me and His hand in guiding me.

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I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go. I will counsel you and watch over you. – Psalm 32:8

RESPONSE: God knows what I need and when I need it. I need to wait for the prompting of the Spirit. I need to wait for instruction. If I jump ahead, I will not only miss the target, but the blessing of the journey as well. Learn to wait, Rosi.

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“But do not follow foolish stories that disagree with God’s truth, but train yourself to serve God. – I Timothy 4:17

RESPONSE: We train for everything – sports, debates, careers, marathons – because we want to be the best. Why would we do any less with our spiritual disciplines? We must practice obedience. It doesn’t come naturally and it doesn’t come easily. We will fall because we are fallen; but that isn’t a good enough reason not to do it.

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“Thy Word is a lamp unto my feet and a light unto my path. – Psalm 119:105

RESPONSE: How can I expect to find my way when I don’t ‘turn on the light’ first rather than stumbling around and then finally going to the Word as a last resort?

I have come a long way from the girl with culture shock, but there is so much more I want and need to hear and learn and know in order to abide and to grow. Time for a new journal; He has lots more work to do; and as long as I have breath, may I never lose my  desire for Him to do it.